Many studies have examined how parental divorce affects children. Any separation or divorce is a stressful experience for everyone involved, but especially for children. Many children whose parents are about to divorce, or have already divorced, feel that the sky has fallen on them and their world is about to be turned upside down. A parents’ separation can be a deeply stressful and confusing experience, and for many children it leads to real problems.
In this article we will review how parental divorce affects children from several angles: depression and behavioral problems, decline in school and social life, health problems, violence, suicide risk, and more.
How does parental divorce affect children – what does the research show?
In 1991, researchers examined the results of ninety-two studies covering thirteen thousand children whose parents had divorced. The findings showed that children who went through a parental divorce fared worse than children who grew up in intact families. They had more difficulties in school, experienced social problems, and showed behavioral problems and trouble communicating with their parents.
Let us look at some of the specific kinds of problems these studies found among children of divorced parents.
How does parental divorce affect children – behavioral problems and depression?
One of those ninety-two studies shows that the more intense the conflict between the parents, the greater the odds of behavioral problems and depression among the children, in childhood and even into adulthood. The same study shows that the more the conflict centers on the children, the greater the risk of harm to them.
On the other hand, when parents cooperate and show they can resolve their conflict as a couple, the children’s stress and anxiety levels drop and they experience fewer behavioral problems and less depression.
How does parental divorce affect children – decline in school and social life?
The studies above also show that children who experienced parental divorce had more difficulties in school and more behavioral problems. Later studies show that children who had good relationships with their fathers, children whose fathers were involved and active in their lives, achieved better results in school than children whose fathers were less involved.
How does parental divorce affect children – violence and harm to boys’ development?
One study, also included in the ninety-two studies, found that boys and girls of divorced parents have different needs. In some of the boys who remained in their mother’s custody, male development was impaired by the absence of the male figure the father represents. These boys showed defiance bordering on delinquency and difficulty controlling impulses. The researchers note that the lack of contact with the father explains these phenomena. By contrast, boys who grew up with a father present in the home showed fewer antisocial and behavioral symptoms.
These boys also tended to resist the parental authority of their mothers and of their teachers at school, and were more involved in bullying than children raised in intact families.
How does parental divorce affect children – school adjustment and achievement?
The same body of research shows that children who have experienced parental divorce have more academic difficulties and lower achievement. When children have close relationships with their fathers, and the father is actively involved in their lives, they adapt more easily to school, are absent less, have a more positive attitude toward school, and achieve more than children with less involved fathers.
How does parental divorce affect children – physical health?
Various studies have described physical illness among children whose parents divorced.
A study conducted in Taiwan shows a clear link between parental divorce and daily headaches in children.
Additional studies have described a high prevalence of concentration problems, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and increased rates of hyperactivity.
Another study, conducted in Spain, examined the quality of life of children of divorced parents. These children reported low quality of life along with physical and mental health problems stemming from the divorce, problems that were still evident in adulthood.
How does parental divorce affect children in terms of suicide risk?
A study conducted in Denmark assessed the suicide risk of young people in relation to family and social factors, and found an elevated risk among people who had experienced parental divorce. Other studies likewise report a higher prevalence of depression and suicidal tendencies among children of divorced parents, and note that the tendency is higher in girls than in boys.
How does parental divorce affect children – can the harm be prevented?
The data show that children whose parents divorced through bitter legal battles often fail to recover from the damage even in adulthood. By contrast, children whose parents divorced through mediation, or whose parents maintain a friendly relationship after the divorce, develop better and suffer less decline in school, in their social lives, and in their physical and mental health.
In addition, children whose separated parents chose joint custody and kept up the children’s routine suffer less tension, pressure, and anxiety in the wake of the divorce.
The bottom line: how divorce affects children depends on how the parents divorce!
Children who go through a hostile divorce, and who do not enjoy an equal measure of contact with both father and mother afterward, may suffer a range of consequences: decline in school, behavioral problems, a tendency toward violence and delinquency, health problems, and more. By contrast, when parents manage to rise above their differences and keep relations friendly during the divorce and after it, many of their children will show no meaningful difference from children who grow up in an intact family.
